Please ignore

THE FLATULENT COW
Okay, as much as I love animals and hate stories about cruelty to animals, this one is funny even to me!

A Little Gas

A Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders (about $240)
for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde,
the Netherlands. The vet had been trying to convince a farmer
that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the
vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a “four-legged
flame-thrower” and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000. The cow was
unharmed. AP
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From The Atlanta Daily:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.
Men are so easy….
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From The Guardian Newspaper
Concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:
‘Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner’s Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.’
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A MAN has had an eel removed from his bladder after it entered his body through his penis.
skin when one started travelling up his urethra.
“I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body,” he said. “But then, suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis.
“I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my peZhang Nan, 56, from Hubei province, China, was relaxing in a spa bath with live eels to let them feed on his dead nis.”
The surgeon who extracted the eel from Zhang’s bladder explained: “The diameter of the urethra in a man’s penis is just a little narrower. But because eels are quite slippery, its body worked as a lubricant and got into the penis smoothly.”
The operation lasted three hours.
The 15cm eel was found dead.