Hello again!
I am so sorry I have not continued my blog in a while- i apologise to you all! I have been very busy these last couple of months, coping with a new councillor, the transition into college and keeping healthy. And i would like to inform you all- that I am doing great. Before I continue my story I would like to thank you all for the overwhelming response of views and comments on the first section of my story ”still standing”, i the response and views has been phenominal. I value all your support.
So anyway in my last blog i promised you I would carry on my story so here we go.
So now, i had collapsed in my house and all of my friends were beginning to find out that all was not as it seemed, I had an eating disorder. I was a very very sick little girl. But still, until you have felt this way you cannot possibly understand the emotions that were going through my mind. The deal was this: you do this because it feels good, it punishes you, it’s the only way you can deal with things and take back control into a life which feels like it’s over-taking you and yet it makes you beautiful right? You’ll be thin and people will love you right? Not what happens. I became so thin that it took me every ounce of energy I had left to get up in the morning, my hair began to fall out and still to this day, comes away when I brush my hair. I was angry all the time and stopped living life. My life revolved around three things- avoiding food, hiding my eating disorder and excersise. So much excersise.
It was a haunting spiral, that meant my life was now ruined no matter what. You see, once you get to a certain point and an eating disorder takes hold of you- you can’t just come up. You have to go all the way down to the lowest point possible before you can come back up-and the lowest point is an extrememly dangerous place to be, and many of those who reach it, never return. I urge anybody with the first symtpoms of an eating disorder not to let it take hold of them because it is so important that you deal with it before you get to the serious stages. The stages that kill many, the stages that nearly killed me.
I’m rushing off now, but I will right again tomorow- i promise.
keep healthy, keep well, love yourself. Every one of you is special. We are all beautiful in our own way it just takes time to realise it.
Little Gem. xo
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