Want to be on Britains got talent 2012? Well now you can be on the show, its quick and easy! And its best to apply online! All you have to do is visit this link:

http://gottalent.fremantlemedia.com/

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I finally decided that maybe through my experience I can help other people. But before i can do that i need to tell you abit about myself. I am a sixteen year old girl, who has been through a hell of a lot; this however, is not what i am here to talk about. I am here to talk and share my stories, struggles and determination with my eating disorder.

At the age of 11, i developed bulimia nervosa, my whole life revolved around it. I was starving, binging and purging on a regular basis. The disorder came from nowhere, it hit me faster than I could help it and it only took a few weeks before i was in the grasp of the terrible illness. And yes, for those of you reading, eating disorders are a serious illness, not a choice or a vain attention seeking problem. For almost a year i struggled alone. I was in denial and was still, at this point, hiding my ed from my friends and family. I would go to extreme lengths to hide food, excersise, cover up my shrinkin body, thinning hair and bloodshot eyes; it could range from wearing baggy clothes, too spitting food out into an opaque cup during dinner, excersising in the middle of the night, it was like an addiction. Within the first 4 months i dropped from eight stone to a tiny six stone four, and within a year a was virging on five and a half stone. At a tiny five foot, I was exhausted and suffering mentally, physically and socially aswell as feeling an extreme knock-on effects to my academic study.

Until you have suffered, you can truely never understand. By the end of this first year I was now suffering from EDNOS, otherwise known as eating disorder not otherwise specified. This purely meant that was showing characteristics of more than one disorder but not meeting the full criteria of either or. It was at this point my friends intervined ( my family still having no clue as they were wrapped up in their own problems). A dear friend of mine had noticed my obsession with weight, calories and excersise aswell as my extreme weightloss and as an attempt to help one dinner force fed me a short bread…this was a very bad move, too any of you out there with a suffering friend please do not act in this way, it will only make things worse. I was that hysterical that day i had to leave, it was then something pulled from inside me, the force an eating disorder can have on you is so strong, you dont realise it until you see it. That night i woke up in the night, i could barely move or speak i was that tired, I struggled to even sit up ( my mum was away on holiday) but from somwhere deep down in my soul cane strength and i managed to get up frm that bad and run up and down the stairs one thousand times with oly two breaks. I was amazed at myself. I loved being tired, i loved the bones.

I will continue this tomorow.
It wont all be doom and gloom.

xoxox little gem.

So, you want to be on Britains got talent (BGT) 2011? Well here is your chance, you can apply online (which is the best option) and you can do so by visiting here: http://gottalent.fremantlemedia.com/.

Or by clicking here

Enjoy and have fun! I wish you all the best of luck if you apply.

Please note: WE ARE IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH BRITAINS GOT TALENT!

Have you ever been in need of a TV guide? But cannot find a paper one? Well we have a solution if you are looking for a free online TV guide then you have found one called TV Guide UK! Its free simple and easy to use. Its an amazing site and if you want to know what on TV then you have it all in one place.

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Dec.1,2009. I got back with him but we didnt talk quite much..

Present times 2010.Were just friends. We act as if we dont really want each other. But we still love each other. IT like theres a big huge gap between both of us. Its killing me. He talks to a lot of girls. I dont talk much to guys unless theyre my real close friends who actually cares about me. I dont know why but its hard to say this to him but like seriously, sometimes i want to slap him in the face and tell him to open up his eyes someday and know that im waiting for him. But its also like.. what am i waiting for. Its complicated. When he hurts me, i take it as if it was a bullet and i was bullet proof. I took so many risks for him. He sometimes pushes me away. Yeah i know that i was obsessed with him but not anymore. I just love him. Its hard to say actually. Hes like WOW.

So today is April 3, 2010. Yester 2nd of april in 2010. Hes falling in love and im hiding the fact that im not jealous by saying “EIPC FAIL”..it wasnt a fail. It was true. i was jealous. I hated it. I felt left out cause he was talking to her only and not me. It felt lonely. One thing that i love the freakin most is like pushing me to the limit where i didnt want to eat..just want to make him regret what he did.thats how i am and i dont know why? She seemes pretty cool.. her names Bianca.:/ anyways yeah. He told her that he liked her alot but she has a boyfriend whos a dick. That she took my place. :/ and told me that he doesnt feel like that anymore. that time i didnt are cause all i felt was hate and anger and jealousy. It was like to the point where i wanted to tell hm “If you love her that much then just fuck off and dont talk to me if you think that your just gonna do this for me to get jealous”. But i didnt. Cause i loved him. I still love him to death and i act as i dont anymore cause hes in love. He’s telling me no matter what, hell still love me and have feelings for me. But whats the point in having feelings for me if your falling head over heels over this Bianca girl right? I told him to just move and forget about it. I made him so jealous at the same time. I was talking to his friend and he seems pretty cool. and i told rick that i like his friend. He got jealous and left. :/ It was to see what hell just do. And it got to the point where he didnt really like me..i told him i was kidding and her was like ooh okay. i guess.

Now when i mean i love Rick. I mean he’s like the world to me. Hes the reason why im breathing. It’s like that. No lies. He makes me feel special when im there until he starts ignoring me and singing his lungs off. i do love the wasy he sings but i also do wanna talk. I love him because hes not scared to say anything me. He makes me laugh until i can’t breathe. Even though hes hurt me so much in my life. I dont know.. i still love him. Its complicated. But you can say its lame. cause hes my ex. :/

so yeah..i did this blog because i was bored and i needed to tell someone.. so strangers..SAY WHATEVER… :]

Thanks to someone for making that

Its this time of year again on channel 4, Coach Trip is back! I love this show. Its amazing. Its on at 5PM Monday to Friday only on Channel 4 with the tour guide Brendon. There are some very interesting characters in this years show and im sure its going to be an amazing show. With a mix of young and old people!

So remember to turn Channel 4 on at 5PM!

Once again, I am sorry for all theses issues. But it was not down to us, It was our host!

Thank for understanding,
Ryan

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